I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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