I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
