This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize