Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
How external is "for external use only"?
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
