So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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