i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Randomize