I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize