I think I am morally bankrupt
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
