google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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