I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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