Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
