Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Randomize
