Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
