Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
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