I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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