apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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