Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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