Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
she pinky promised me she was 18
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
