is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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