that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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