im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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