I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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