I just pynch a tree in the face
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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