this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
