Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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