I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
