I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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