I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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