He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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