you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Randomize
