I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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