Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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