I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Im part way to drunk.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
