So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize