i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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