her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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