A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
