Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
