I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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