i jhust puked up my retainher.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
