I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
