OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
