A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Me. At least after what I've been through.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize