I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
