im drinking this country out of the recession.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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