I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
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