I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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