new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
