well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize