fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
