she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
He did a backflip because drugs
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
