Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize