i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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