Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
