11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
My friends, they love my intelligence
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
