Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
