Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
