Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize