So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
