let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
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